General Update of Sorts

Just wanted to give a general update on all things Sachairi.

On the right, under "People of Awesome" You will notice some links gone, and new ones to replace them.

I still can't figure out Tumblr, but what good are they anyways if they don't even have a Christian section, so I might be able to find a blog I might like? It might be a blessing.

I've been watching a show called "The Tudors" and it shocks me that King Henry has yet to experience any character growth. Your marriage isn't working out? (Because you spend a lot of time cheating on your wife?) Then I guess that the only solution is to declare it "null and void". Urgh. I know the show is based on real events, but seriously. Grow up.

On the bright side, the women aren't all supermodels from Heaven, the costumes and sets are wonderful. I sometimes get distracted from all the cheating to focus on the lovely backgrounds. (Although the show seems to want to make sure that all you see is cheating)

Supernatural is returning in a few days, and I'm quite excited. I'm still holding out on seeing a decent Christian, Angel, or even a decent understanding of God (Please, Kripke, read some Bible, or talk to a Christian with answers. There's only like a couple million of us) but I love Dean and Castiel, and for them I will return.

They better work on this new character arc for Cas real quick though. What was he doing making out with a demon? It was completely out of left field. (Considering earlier that same episode he wasn't saying anything nice about the fact that she is a demon)

Kripke also seems to be on the misunderstanding that humans who go to hell eventually become demons. I guess I should take it easy on him. What else can you expect from an atheist? (Then again, there's a sad amount of Christians in that category as well)

I found a few incredible websites for homeschooling kids in a Christian home. I will be linking them as well.

Bathing

This started out as a little pen drawing so I could get an idea of what Rue's back might look like. Originally I was going to have it a lot more scarred, but then I remembered that I might want to draw Rue from behind again someday, and a million scars might be difficult to place appropriately.

This is also incredibly cliché.

Please excuse my complete lack of being able to draw a person from behind, especially a well muscled person. Would one of you guys like to draw him and I can have some loverly arts to brighten my spirits?

It's been a hard last little while for me. I'm still battling feelings of complete lonliness, and a resurgence of feelings regarding my past abuse.

Every time I think I've dealt with it, something comes up and reminds me that I haven't. Every time I think I've completely forgiven both of them for what they have done, I am reminded brutally what I've lost because of them.

I was expressing my feelings of anxiety to my priest about my upcoming wedding- more specifically, I know that a person with my background has a few strikes against them before the vows are even exchanged. My abuse, being surrounded by unhealthy marital relationships, and so on.

He said it was good that I was concerned, because it meant that I knew it could be a problem, and could look out for it.

He also confirmed a fear: It was a strike against me, as far as a successful marriage goes. The most successful ones, he said, were when two Christians married each other and were virgins when they did so.

It makes my heart ache. I'm still suffering the consequences of something that happening to me when I was three. For the first time in a long time, I felt anger towards the man who had taken that from me. It's... I mean, I hate to say it, but it just feels so completely unfair. I didn't choose, at the age of three, to no longer be a virgin.

It's crazy to think that when I was three, my chances at a successful marriage immediately fell by something like over 50%.

I keep praying that God will take this bitterness, anger, and pain away. I truly want to forgive both of them, and become a new creation. In time.

For the time being, enjoy Rue, who feels to me like a kindred soul.

2011

Well, it's that time again, I suppose.

I didn't really come up with a New Year's Resolution this year. I mean, it's getting incredibly difficult. The only thing I ever want to do is lose weight, and that's what I do during Lent. Over 40 days, I eat next to nothing. I figure Jesus did it in a desert, surely I can do it in the comfort of my apartment.

So I know what to do for Lent. The only difference this year is that I have to be sneaky about it, because the significant other will be all, you know, "eat or else".

I'm going to get back into writing, and possibly drawing more. No sense in my college education going completely to waste.

This next year is going to be a lot of changes for me. Namely, I'm getting married in the summer, going back to school because I love having a huge student loan, and Joseph and I need to start making our own traditions, for when children start appearing.

I say appearing because it's kind of wishful thinking. I am really torn about the whole pregnancy thing. I mean, it doesn't look too horrible, but my fears of weight gain/ stretch marks/ pain are all things I'm going to have to overcome. But not right now. Let's move on before I have a panic attack. =D

So. My goals for the New Years. I'm really quite involved with the church nowadays, so it's going to be a challenge to meet and make friends of my own age. I miss people. Who knew growing up was so... lonely? Not what I expected, to be sure.

I think part of it is the fact that I'm Christian. Jesus wasn't kidding about nobody would want anything to do with you. At least He warns you.

So, new friends. Back to writing and drawing. I'll try to come back to blogging more often, because I've missed this place. Usual weight loss thing... (I lost a few pounds over Christmas! =D And I was eating SO MUCH cheesecake!)

I want to start purchasing dresspants, and more covering shirts. Clothes are too whorish. Whenever I see girls wearing next to nothing, I feel like I'm equally undressed. It's strange. Cover up, girls. That's what ladies do.

I'll need more Hijabi materials. (My mother got me the most lovely scarf for Christmas, plus a leatherbound KJV Bible. If you knew my mother, you would know how significant this is)

I'm glad to be back, guys. =D

In Memory of..

Read at your own risk. Just remembering Adam.

On the second of December, my high school friend Adam died in a vehicle accident at work. I've been having a lot of mixed emotions since then. My first reaction was that it couldn't possibly be true. I mean, I found out on FB, and I had hoped it was just a cruel joke.

Part of the reason I thought it was a lie (besides finding out on the internet) was because Adam was born only a few short hours before I was, in the same hospital. For all we know, our mothers could have been in rooms right next to each other, screaming bloody murder. He's no more than three hours older than me- how is it that he is gone?

He offered to fail a grade for me once, when I had been held back due to my constant jigging. Adam, April, Braden, and a lot of others would come over and hang out at my father's house while he was working.

Between Adam and Jared, they both kept my locker filled with 2L bottles of Pepsi. They would often go to the Irving down the hill and bring back *bags* of it. In grade 11, we had almost every single class together. When I was in grade 10 or so, he had asked me out. I said 'yes', being completely flabbergasted, and then avoided him like a plague until we 'broke up'. I was quite nervous of boys back then.

I remember playing all sorts of drinking games with him, and he always made sure I would win.

He wore a lot of tie dye shirts, which would bring out his very red hair. He talked a lot about hunting and sports, and when we were hanging out, he'd quickly set us up with something (alcoholic) to drink.

He never made me pay to have a cigarette, and he always lent me his coat if it was raining outside during break. We went to a few dances together, one in which we were both so drunk that we could hardly stand. (Yeah, I wasn't the most savoury kid back in the day) It took many people to help me stand upright, and for some reason, our vice principle never gave us any trouble.

Despite the fact I toppled over Mr Hare, waving at him like a maniac before proceeding to slap his behind. (Which started a very strange but cherished relationship)

After this prom, in which I was technically Holly's date, about 12 of us ended up at my father's house, sleeping on a very tiny army cot, laying on top of each other like Jenga blocks. One girl slept with only her head on the cot, and the rest of her body was on a very comfortable garbage bag of clothes.

My dad completely flipped his lid the next day, as we had all slept in our underwear (try sleeping in a huge prom dress!) and he was sure all of us had every STD known to man. Between Ricky and Adam, they actually got my father to back off.

Adam was a sweet guy, and he's going to be dearly missed.

...Then There Were Five

For my followers, sorry about all the re- posting. You may know that I post chapters of EC on here, and I wanted to shorten the posts, so nobody would have to scroll down for ever to see previous posts, but nothing seems to work. I've tried everything! If anyone has found a tutorial on expandable posts that had worked for them, please send me the link for it. Thanks.

I was talking to my dear friend Sonya last night, who pointed out to me that I really need to get back in gear and start drawing. I've been looking at other people's work, occasionally stumbling upon something that would destroy my soul a little, so I was told: "Why don't *you* destroy instead?"

At the top, flying, is Tobias. The brown guy with blue hair is Rue, the girl on his shoulders is Lieza. Lastly, Valesti riding Rhiannon. I just realized I forgot Valesti's antennae. The next chapter should be up shortly. I need to do some rewriting on previous chapters, as well. Mostly for Tobias and Valesti's sake.

Please enjoy!

Church, Hijab, and Stuff

I started working at my church as a secretary quite recently, and it seems to be going well so far. I set up a display for Advent (which is during this month). I'm enjoying the work, and it's been nice- I feel almost like I'm back in my home town, you know, what with me spending most of my time in the church now.

I also need to start doing my pre- wedding workout. I hate exercising... I wish I had a workout partner. I'm aiming for a flatter stomach (aren't we all?), a thinner waistline (half an inch to go!) and if anybody has the secret to getting my hips to be about an inch wider/ thicker/ whatever, I would love to hear it. I never thought I'd have to gain in order to fit in a tiny American size zero. But there you are.

A while ago, my friend Cheryl mailed me a few of her Hijab scarves. It took a lot of trial runs, but I've mastered the pins (be careful, ladies!) and the Hijab is starting to look tidy. I was having this problem that the scarves were loose, and it would slide around on my head, exposing hair and neck. That's not cool.

During these trials, I've learned something interesting about myself. Apparently, I have a freakishly long neck. It seems like no matter what I do, some part of my neck is insisting on showing. Most of my shirts have high necklines, it just seems that there's not enough scarf to hide my swan/ giraffe neck. I know no Muslims read this, but if one happens to stumble along, could you share any tips you might have? It's so embarrassing to keep having my neck exposed.

I think though that I may have learned the secret behind keeping the scarves in place, so, hurrah!

I've also learned this week, where I also teach Sunday school, that I am required to attend the Parish Life Committee Meetings. I've attended once before, and let me tell you, it's an uncomfortable experience. There's bitter words exchanged sometimes, but the worst part is the tediousness of it.

It starts like this. "I vote to call the meeting to order?" Fr. Jon or Ken seem to ask this. Actually, Ken is the note taker. Anyway, they vote. I imagine you might know where this meeting goes from there. They have to vote on everything. Vote to move to the next subject, vote to take it to Vestry, they even vote on ending the meeting. They voted once on me being allowed to leave the meeting early.

I've seen these meetings before, at my old church in St George. I don't remember them quite like that, but then again, it's been a while since I've been this actively involved in the church.

Anyway, I'm enjoying it. I also seem to be losing an insane amount of pins in my Hijab. Nothing can hide my neck!

I am Pinhead.

Have a nice evening, folks.

Tobias

It's been so long since my last update... I felt guilty so I drew a few things for you before posting more text. I'll post the rest of my drawings in a few days. Enjoy my Tobias with questionable hair colour.