Anything for You

Blog post is named after Joseph's and my song, from Ludo. It will be our first dance song =D

As you can see from the countdown posted just below my header, the day is getting close!

So, the drawing. I drew this sooo tiny and by the time I even realized, it was too late to turn back. So here's piece 4/5 for the Sonya Series (as I've been calling it in my head) and for today's episode, we have Erimenthia (Eria) and Apollo. We're going to be meeting these kids someday soon~

These two are from a race of Nienté called Garantir, who are known for their stellar magical skills (they often get addicted to it though) and for defeating the Humans. Their take over worked well mostly because they look Human, more so than any other Nienté.

In other news, chapter 10 has been written, and will be sent to my wonderful beta, Sonya, so the next chapter will be up the first week of March. I will try to continue to update on my monthly schedule again.

I hope you like it, Sonya! One more to go, I hope you're all excited!

Bathing

This started out as a little pen drawing so I could get an idea of what Rue's back might look like. Originally I was going to have it a lot more scarred, but then I remembered that I might want to draw Rue from behind again someday, and a million scars might be difficult to place appropriately.

This is also incredibly cliché.

Please excuse my complete lack of being able to draw a person from behind, especially a well muscled person. Would one of you guys like to draw him and I can have some loverly arts to brighten my spirits?

It's been a hard last little while for me. I'm still battling feelings of complete lonliness, and a resurgence of feelings regarding my past abuse.

Every time I think I've dealt with it, something comes up and reminds me that I haven't. Every time I think I've completely forgiven both of them for what they have done, I am reminded brutally what I've lost because of them.

I was expressing my feelings of anxiety to my priest about my upcoming wedding- more specifically, I know that a person with my background has a few strikes against them before the vows are even exchanged. My abuse, being surrounded by unhealthy marital relationships, and so on.

He said it was good that I was concerned, because it meant that I knew it could be a problem, and could look out for it.

He also confirmed a fear: It was a strike against me, as far as a successful marriage goes. The most successful ones, he said, were when two Christians married each other and were virgins when they did so.

It makes my heart ache. I'm still suffering the consequences of something that happening to me when I was three. For the first time in a long time, I felt anger towards the man who had taken that from me. It's... I mean, I hate to say it, but it just feels so completely unfair. I didn't choose, at the age of three, to no longer be a virgin.

It's crazy to think that when I was three, my chances at a successful marriage immediately fell by something like over 50%.

I keep praying that God will take this bitterness, anger, and pain away. I truly want to forgive both of them, and become a new creation. In time.

For the time being, enjoy Rue, who feels to me like a kindred soul.

2011

Well, it's that time again, I suppose.

I didn't really come up with a New Year's Resolution this year. I mean, it's getting incredibly difficult. The only thing I ever want to do is lose weight, and that's what I do during Lent. Over 40 days, I eat next to nothing. I figure Jesus did it in a desert, surely I can do it in the comfort of my apartment.

So I know what to do for Lent. The only difference this year is that I have to be sneaky about it, because the significant other will be all, you know, "eat or else".

I'm going to get back into writing, and possibly drawing more. No sense in my college education going completely to waste.

This next year is going to be a lot of changes for me. Namely, I'm getting married in the summer, going back to school because I love having a huge student loan, and Joseph and I need to start making our own traditions, for when children start appearing.

I say appearing because it's kind of wishful thinking. I am really torn about the whole pregnancy thing. I mean, it doesn't look too horrible, but my fears of weight gain/ stretch marks/ pain are all things I'm going to have to overcome. But not right now. Let's move on before I have a panic attack. =D

So. My goals for the New Years. I'm really quite involved with the church nowadays, so it's going to be a challenge to meet and make friends of my own age. I miss people. Who knew growing up was so... lonely? Not what I expected, to be sure.

I think part of it is the fact that I'm Christian. Jesus wasn't kidding about nobody would want anything to do with you. At least He warns you.

So, new friends. Back to writing and drawing. I'll try to come back to blogging more often, because I've missed this place. Usual weight loss thing... (I lost a few pounds over Christmas! =D And I was eating SO MUCH cheesecake!)

I want to start purchasing dresspants, and more covering shirts. Clothes are too whorish. Whenever I see girls wearing next to nothing, I feel like I'm equally undressed. It's strange. Cover up, girls. That's what ladies do.

I'll need more Hijabi materials. (My mother got me the most lovely scarf for Christmas, plus a leatherbound KJV Bible. If you knew my mother, you would know how significant this is)

I'm glad to be back, guys. =D

Tobias

It's been so long since my last update... I felt guilty so I drew a few things for you before posting more text. I'll post the rest of my drawings in a few days. Enjoy my Tobias with questionable hair colour.

Dancing Lieza

I imagine you're starting to hate me. There's a funny thing about Lieza- as much as I imagine Rhiannon always at the point developmentally at the beginning of her story arc, I always imagine Lieza as how she ends up being. I hope that sentence made sense. This will likely be the last post for today. Prepare though for a lot of Tobias soon.

Tobias Doodle

I was going through my old sketchbooks and memorabilia the other night, and found this drawing. It's about four years old, but I thought it was pretty cute, so I put it into photoshop, and... well, here you are. I wanted to try the coloured line thing I've seen, like in Disney movies, but I honestly think that Tobias is too bright to warrant this sort of thing. I was squinting nearly the entire time I was drawing this.

I spent way too much time on this, because I had already finished the line work when I thought, "Hey, maybe the lines should be colour". I think Tobias'd make a really cute plushie. Anyway, please enjoy.

Secret Powers

Sorry for how horrible this is. Did it in about half an hour, for laughs. Tobias' Secret Powers aren't really powers, eh? There's a hundred of them, but if I told you all of them, then they wouldn't be secret anymore. Please enjoy my failure. Also, enjoy the shout out to the Slytherins in the last panel.